The TRUTH About Us (All to be taken with a big pinch of salt!)
Smisby is located on a previously little known fault in the earth’s crust that runs close to the surface just under the Old School. This explains some of the smells that emanate from the main room sometimes.
The village still has many features that identify its historic background. Fortunately these also come in useful for the Club because we use the Policeman’s keep to lock up small groups of children if the weather is good and we want to sunbathe. The old stocks also allow us to lock up particularly unruly children and also gives us a perfect way to dispose of all our waste food allowing the other children and villagers to punish the children.
The local recreation ground is also a great place we can chain kids to the park furniture and again top up our tan. We also use this area for sports activities for the children but after a number of small events involving children getting in the way of arrows during an archery display and even a wayward Javelin our insurers have discouraged us from such activities.
We sometimes hire chimps from the local zoo in order to teach the children how to eat, as mealtimes can be a little messy. We did find that things improved once we allowed the children to use knives and forks. Although it did allow us to earn money until quite recently when we used to charge local villagers to come down to the club and watch the children eat. The only reason we got caught was because a parent in the village recognised one of their own children.
Feedback: Parents
We at Smizkids 511 take pride in the level of care we give to all the children that attend the Club. Often we see children that leave the Nursery to go to school, join the After School and Holiday Club, and then stay with us until they are 11 or 12.
Many parents write to us and tell us what they think of the Club and we think these comments are our greatest advert. We want to share them with you:
"Just a note to say a BIG Thank You to you all for a great fun-packed summer. Joel has looked forward to going everyday and has lots of memories and stories to tell his friends at School - See you in October!"
Jacqui & Lea Hamnett - October 2011
"Charlie had a great time the two weeks of the summer holiday he was with you. He loved the Space Centre and the Swimming. Hope to see you again soon."
Niel & Trish Parrans-Smith - August 2011
"Thank you so much for all you have done for Daniel this year. You've had such a positive effect on him."
Niel & Trish Parrans-Smith - Feb 2011
"An excellent resource, my daughter was made really welcome and enjoyed herself."
Carole Webb - May 2006
"I think Smizkids is a great way to break up a school holiday. My son goes for an occasional day and he loves it. It's great entertainment and a great facility, Imaginative and caring."
Lesley Johnson - May 2006
"Smizkids provides an excellent holiday club programme for children of varying ages. All carers and helpers appear well trained, and run and monitor a host of different activities. Children are encouraged to interact, to focus and to be creative. Well done!"
Diane Weston - May 2006
